The Top 5 Things You Need To Consider Before Becoming A Surrogate

Surrogacy is on the rise around the world and with celebrities like Kim Kardashian, Gabrielle Union and Queer Eye’s Tan France all welcoming little ones through surrogacy in the last few years, it’s definitely being brought into the public conversation.

But that’s not to say that becoming a surrogate is easy or that it’s the right journey for everyone! Like all journeys to parenthood, surrogacy can be an intimidating and difficult process emotionally, mentally and physically and there’s a lot to think about before jumping in.

We’re here to help you navigate your journey, whatever it may look like, starting with the top 5 things you should consider before you become a surrogate.

Did you know?

In the UK it's estimated that over 500 children are born via surrogacy every year, that's up from just 50 in 2008! In the US, it's estimated that 750 babies are born through gestational surrogacy each year.

1. How does becoming a surrogate work and is it legal?

There are two types of surrogacy: Straight Surrogacy, also known as traditional surrogacy, is when the surrogate provides her own egg to achieve the pregnancy. Host Surrogacy, also known as gestational surrogacy, is when the egg is provided by the intended mother or a donor and the embryos are transferred to the surrogate through IVF.

You may already have a type of surrogacy in mind, but if not, have a think about which journey might be best for you and the intended parents as everyone’s needs are different.

Is it legal to become a surrogate?

Truthfully, there is no simple answer to this as laws vary significantly across the world. In some countries — such as the UK, most Australian states, and some US states — surrogacy is legal. In other countries, like France, Germany, and Spain all forms of surrogacy are illegal. 

Even in countries where surrogacy is allowed, there may be no formal support and it is often difficult to enforce any kind of surrogacy agreement (see more on this below!).

We suggest talking to a local surrogacy agency to find out the processes for surrogacy in your country.

What are surrogacy agencies and do I need one?

Surrogacy agencies help both surrogates and the intended parents navigate the whole journey from start to finish and make the process as stress-free and simple as possible, so you can focus on having a healthy and happy pregnancy.

Usually, a surrogacy agency offers services such as health screening, counseling, legal advice, and arranging a surrogacy agreement.

It’s generally recommended that agencies are used for surrogacy, even if you know the intended parents personally, as it can be a tricky process with lots of moving parts. Using an agency will allow you and the intended parents to focus on health, wellness, and happiness instead of legalities and paperwork!

What is a surrogacy agreement?

A surrogacy agreement is a formal document where you and the intended parents can record and agree on any expectations for trying to conceive, pregnancy, and beyond.

The agreement could include anything from when and how to take pregnancy tests, attending antenatal appointments, a birthing plan and plans for post birth.

Whist surrogacy agreements are really useful, it’s important to remember that these are usually not enforceable by law.

2. Your health and wellbeing as a surrogate is important 

Your physical, emotional, and mental health are super important things to think about before you become a surrogate.

Generally speaking, it’s only recommended that you become a surrogate if your health and wellbeing won’t be put at higher risk than is considered “normal” during pregnancy. If you have a history of significant postnatal depression or pregnancy complications, for example, it may mean that surrogacy isn’t the right journey for you.

We suggest setting up an initial health check as well as an appointment with a fertility counselor in the earliest stages of your surrogacy journey to go over any potential health concerns. If you are using a surrogacy agency then this should be part of the service.

Do I need to have given birth before becoming a surrogate?

Whilst you don’t technically need to have been pregnant or given birth before you become a surrogate, it is generally recommended that you have carried a pregnancy before. Most surrogacy agencies won’t work with first-time carriers.

Without first-hand experience, it’s difficult to know what to expect physically or emotionally and therefore difficult to commit to becoming a surrogate as you don’t know what you are agreeing to.

3. The financial impact of becoming a surrogate

In most countries, like the UK and parts of the US, commercial surrogacy is either frowned upon by the courts or is illegal, meaning that you cannot be paid to become a surrogate. However, the intended parents are able to cover your “reasonable expenses”, so you shouldn’t see a negative financial impact.

Reasonable expenses should be agreed upon as part of your surrogacy agreement and might include:

• Loss of earnings for you or your partner

• Additional childcare for your own children

• Food and other supplements

• Classes or therapies that support the pregnancy

• Maternity clothes

• A modest recovery break for you and your family after the baby is born

4. You should have a support network as a surrogate

Any pregnancy can be emotionally and physically difficult and will require support from those around you. It’s important to consider if you have the right support network to become a surrogate and the impact it could have on you and your own family.

It may take some time for those who are not familiar with the surrogacy process to understand what you are going through and how you feel about it, but it can also have lots of positive impacts on you and your loved ones.

5. You want to consider your deal breakers

We strongly recommend having a think about what your deal breakers are in this journey and keep them in mind as you go through each of the steps above! It’s important to get on the same page as the intended parents and discuss all eventualities and outcomes of the pregnancy and birth so you know if it’s the right match for you.

If you decide that surrogacy is right for you…

It’s important to remember the following:

• You and the intended parents should get to know each other properly before entering into a surrogacy agreement

• Everyone enters into it with full consent and understanding

• You give yourselves time to develop trust

• You discuss all potential outcomes and eventualities

• You feel supported by the surrogacy agency, the intended parents, and your own friends and family

Is there anything you want to know about becoming a surrogate? Or are you interested in using a surrogate? Leave us a comment below!