Worried About Giving Birth? It’s Not As Scary As It Seems
You’ve likely pictured what motherhood might look like long before you’re pregnant. Dreaming of your future children, how you’ll raise them, and what they’ll look like. All the good, fun thoughts and warm, fuzzy feelings. As you should!
However, childbirth and postpartum recovery might be things you actively try not to picture, because they can feel unknown and a bit scary. Even though there are so many powerful birth stories out there, it’s often the unpleasant labor experiences and pains of postpartum recovery that stick in our minds and become the focus. But we’re here to tell you, it’s not as scary as it seems, or at least it doesn’t have to be!
We reached out to our community of over 1 million mothers to ask what part of childbirth and postpartum recovery felt scariest to you, and we realized the more we talk about those fears, and the more we learn about what actually happens, the less scary it all becomes. Here is what our community shared…
“My vagina tearing to my bum… not cool”
Yep, it’s called a perineal tear. Your perineum goes through a lot during childbirth and even though the skin and muscles are designed to stretch, they might not stretch all the way. Most vaginal deliveries have some perineal tearing, but the majority aren’t likely to cause long-term issues and people notice discomfort easing in about 2 weeks (hang in there, mama!). Women who have had a previous vaginal delivery usually don’t experience tearing again since the skin and muscles are more flexible. What’s more, only 2% of tears actually involve the anal sphincter muscles, which classify as a 3rd or 4th degree tear. But there are a few things you can do to help decrease the chances of tearing:
Perineal massage. You, your partner, doctor, or midwife can do this in the later stage of the third trimester, and you can check out this easy infographic for a demonstration.
Warm compresses. Ask your attending doctor, midwife, or nurse to press a clean, warm cloth or compress to the perineum as you get closer to pushing to help ease tissues into stretching.
Delivery method. Implementing controlled pushing, and taking your time may be a bit more difficult, but can help give your skin and muscles some extra time to stretch for baby. Lying flat on your back may increase the risk of tearing so talk to your doctor about what angle giving birth will work best for you, and help decrease the chances of tearing.
“The first 💩 postpartum! 😳”
You may have heard that you have 3 births … the baby, placenta, and your first postpartum bowel movement, which typically occurs 2-3 days after childbirth. It can seem odd, but after baby, anything coming out of that area is going to be sensitive. This was a common fear among women in our community who reached out. Just as we have to prepare for baby, let’s talk about how to prepare for your ‘third birth’:
Drink water. Childbirth is intense and comes with a lot of fluid loss, so it’s incredibly important to rehydrate yourself and then stay hydrated, especially for that first postpartum bathroom trip. Make sure to get electrolytes as well by adding a slice of lemon or orange to your water!
Take stool softener. Stool softeners help by adding moisture to stool so it can pass through easier (this is not the same as laxatives which stimulate the intestines!) and will help you get through the initial bathroom stages about 2 to 4 days after birth. You can ask your doctor for an over-the-counter recommendation.
Bathroom-friendly foods. As you’re closing in on your due date, it’s a good idea to stock up on all the foods that will help your body recover postpartum. Fiber-rich foods like fruits and veggies will help your digestive system stay moving, which will be slowed down for the first week or so after birth.
Peri bottle. This is one of those must-have postpartum items that so many women talk about. (For more on that, check out our post on 11 Postpartum Care Products That You Won’t Regret Buying). It’s an angled bottle that you squeeze to spray a gentle stream of water on your perineal area to keep things clean and comfortable.
“The amount of blood loss [postpartum] that is considered as ‘normal’. I felt like a walking horror movie”
It’s definitely frightening to be bleeding so much after giving birth, and being told it’s normal can feel weird. But postpartum vaginal bleeding is a normal part of your body’s recovery process! Your body is shedding and restoring the uterine lining and remaining placental tissues that kept your baby safe for the last 9 months. This discharge is called lochia and at first, it will look like blood (bright or dark red) and then slowly change to a white or yellow discharge by around day 7. It can last for 4 to 6 weeks after birth, and it’s not uncommon to experience spotting as well. If you had a c-section, you might not have as much lochia but you’ll still experience discharge for a few weeks. If you are concerned about any postpartum vaginal bleeding, be sure to contact your doctor.
“It feels like there are 0 resources for postpartum care outside of the 6-week check-up”
Newborns are the center of attention after birth, but mothers still go through an intense experience themselves. Often women are left with little to no support before their 6-week check-up and don’t know who or where to turn to for guidance, which can feel overwhelming. Here’s a highlight of what you’ll find in the Baby2Body app postpartum to help guide you through the first few weeks and beyond:
Postpartum weekly check-ins. For the first 12 weeks, be sure to tune in to the weekly check-ins with our founder and women’s health and fitness expert, Mel, to find out what you can expect and how to best support your recovery each week.
Build your self-care tool kit. Our incredible Integrated Health & Mindfulness Coach, Lou, has helped us create an exclusive 12-week program designed to help you build healthy self-care habits as a mother. Each week you'll get a video lesson on a new topic, accompanied by a collection of "micro-zen" exercises: quick, audio-guided activities to help you practice the self-care habits discussed that week.
Pelvic floor exercises. One of our favorite exercises for pregnancy and postpartum that can be done almost anywhere! They’re especially important after birth when those pelvic floor muscles have been weakened and stretched. Remember that consistency is key, and we include these in your Daily Bites every day so you’ll never forget!
Dedicated meal plans. Thinking about your next few meals after you’ve just given birth can be extra work that you don’t need. Our Meal Plans are designed by our resident Nutritionist, Emma, to support your needs postpartum. The meal plans are simple, focus on bulk cooking for ease, and built to ensure you get the nutrients and energy needed for tissue healing, recovery, and breastmilk production. Breastfeeding mamas can also find lactation-boosting recipes which include galactagogues if you’re experiencing issues with milk supply (learn more about those here!).
“The fact that it’s all down to me! The professionals can only help so much”
Sometimes the scariest part about pregnancy and childbirth is that it really does comes down to us. We’ll be the ones delivering our baby, and coping with any curveballs thrown our way. We might not be able to ask our partners to step in for us when we need a break (unfortunately), but we can help prepare our minds and bodies by staying informed on what is going on and prioritizing our own health and wellness in pregnancy and beyond. You can do this, mama, we promise.
If you are feeling worried about childbirth or postpartum recovery, please don’t keep your fears inside. Fear is always more powerful when it’s kept in the shadows. Bringing those fears out into the open makes them seem less scary and easier to manage. If you’re comfortable, talk about your fears to someone you trust, either your partner, friend, family, or health professional. If you don’t feel you have someone to talk to, journaling your fears can allow you to acknowledge what they are, why they’re frightening to you, and how you can overcome them.
If you have more thoughts on this topic please leave them in the comments below as we would love to continue this discussion with you and support you at this time!
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